[DM-MUG] Computer based levity....

[Victoria L. Herring]

A cowboy was herding his cows in a remote pasture when suddenly a 
brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a 
young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL 
tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly 
how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a 
calf?"



The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his 
peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"



The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, 
connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA 
page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation 
system to get an exact fix on his location which h e then feeds to 
another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high- 
resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe 
Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, 
Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that 
the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a 
MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with 
email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.



Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi- tech, 
miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and 
says,"You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."



"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy.



He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on 
amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.



Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you 
exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"



The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"



You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says the cowboy.



"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"



"No guessing required." answered the cowboy.



"You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get 
paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You 
tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know 
a thing about cows... Now give me back my dog."

-- 
Victoria L. Herring, Attorney, Discrimination & Employment Law, 
<http://www.HerringLaw.com>;  Travel research, 
<http://www.JourneyZing.com> ;   Photographs at 
http://victoriajz.smugmug.com  and http://www.buyiowaart.com. 
Upcoming shows:  Adel Sweet Corn Festival, August 12th and Two Rivers 
Festival, November 10-12th, downtown Des Moines.
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